The Rabbit Hole Project - Meeting the Bone Man and the Bone Mother

This project could also be titled the Bone Man, and describes my subsequent introduction to the Bone Mother. It was a very profound journey - finding a mentor (Bone Man) who taught me so much about bones and the preservation of energy, and then meeting the Bone Mother in meditation and learning how to dissolve whatever was unnecessary, back to the bone whilst cradled in her loving arms. A necessary process that precedes new growth.

I met ‘the Bone Man’ – in May 2022, at the Weird and Wonderful Wood show. His work fascinated me. It is dark in theme, but not in vibration and it was unusual to meet another (way more established) artist who shared my deep interest in dead things. His art is very clever, precisely formed  - and not for sale – like mine. We also share in common, that each piece we create tells a story. For example, one of his images, contained an orange with a dead frog sitting on top of it. This captured a moment in his life, whilst out walking with a friend – where he found an orange on a footpath – which if you think about it is fairly random. Then immediately after picking up the orange, he spotted the dead frog.

I have actually noticed, this appearance of signs, often perceives my finding of ‘treasure’. Whatever the object is, it is meant for you and something out of the ordinary happens, which opens your eyes enough to notice the gift that awaits you.  

We became friends, and in exchange for some help and training in processing a deer I had found just before meeting him, he requested I make him a piece of art. This was quite a challenge, as his work is so clever and perfectly finished, mine not so much… I was quite nervous. And yet, being asked to do it was also extremely inspiring.

The Journey Began…

That night after meeting him, I felt high as a kite, but was extremely burnt out so couldn’t do much. So I explored my Shamanic Teaching classes, and found a course I had skipped, called ‘The Bone Mother’  – as I thought I had covered it on a previous retreat in November 2019. The Bone Mother was introduced on this retreat (The Wild Hunt) – but only briefly and it wasn’t my time to start working with her deeply at that time.  

After listening to this more in-depth course, I went much more deeply into the Bone Mother Archetype and began working with her daily.

The First Few Meetings with The Bone Mother – Journey Notes

I was physically exhausted to the bone at that time, which I was finding highly frustrating. So I meditated with her multiple times a day, through Shamanic Journeying, on how to get my energy back again. It didn’t take long. Her guidance was very specific: do this, don’t do that, drink these teas, drink bone broth, eat specific foods etc. She explained my energy had been zapped for ages, and that there was still dark water coming in – and to find the source.

I saw myself as a baby again, being rocked in a cradle, surrounded by cotton wool and she cut my umbilical cord and said, ‘I am your mother now’. I’ve been told since that once you build a connection with her, she keeps you for life!

Then within a few days I was a vibrant 5-year-old, with bright thick red hair. I was preparing to go on a journey – with someone who was laid back. I was told I don’t have to be perfect – just balanced. The journey is to build a new me.

Further guidance was to follow the North Star and look at Astro Cartography. I was also told to keep clearing and organising my physical stuff, use what I have got, and gather new resources. The journey will unfold with the flowering of my orchids (I am an avid orchid collector, and they have magical cycles that still amaze me every time they bloom, ‘die’ or a new shoot appears. I was also told that everything I need will be attracted to me.

Then I was told to let it all go. Everything. Sell / release everything! Yikes. And to focus on what I was grateful for, because all of my personal history has been for the good / for a reason. There are still a few more ‘weeds’ to pull up, and I have to carefully discern the weeds from the flowers.  

Again the message - fly North came. And I saw a square with a circle in it (squaring a circle). I was told to stand in a field.

The next message was that now, I am in a new growth stage, I just need to tend to the garden. Progress is rapid when you don’t resist.

I noticed my red hair had grown longer still, and I was peaceful and content. I was sitting calmly, smiling and open.

About the Bone Mother

She is first and foremost a Winter Goddess, associated with skiing, bowhunting, winter, and wolves. She is also known for her mind reading abilities, sorcery skills and often takes a young woman as her apprentice. She can shapeshift, weave myths and enchantments. At other times of the year, she becomes different faces of the Goddess energy, but her overall purpose is to dissolve what is no longer needed / take us back to bare bones, so that we shed our old skins and experience a profound rebirth.

Although feared by some, I found her extremely gentle in her process of stripping away the old. She is fast, direct and to the point. It is said that if you resist it can be painful, but I welcomed her compassionate help and the grounded and clear advice to let go of what was redundant and / or toxic.  

Death and decay are a necessary part of a cycle that leads through to new growth and rejuvenation. Like Carrion beetles who assist in the decay of animals, who decompose the flesh to create new nutrients that fertilise the earth; as we let the old go, our souls are revitalised / fertilised and new shoots start to grow.

And like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, you sometimes have to burn some or all aspects of your life to the ground / strip it back to simple basics to emerge from a period of stagnation, as a new shiny butterfly.

If we fully surrender to this process, it’s a lot easier to face. Many are afraid of this process, and fear does have its place, but nothing is worse than living a dead life.

She teaches you to keep your promises to yourself, which helps rebuild personal power, and she rebirths herself every year – something we should all do!

In a lot of meditations with her, she buried me in an earth tomb / womb with just my head exposed. This is an ancient shamanic ritual, not one I have done, that provides deep nourishing earth energy – similar to going back into the womb.

Revealing Herself

The Bone Mother didn’t show her face to me for a long time. It was only as I started work on the Rabbit Hole Project, which she assisted with every step of the way, that I started seeing her in the photos I was taking as I documented the work in progress.

The project started with a very old terracotta pot that I found whilst excavating an old garden structure. Although most of the items I found during that clearance were related to something I was releasing in my life, the pot stood out as key to this project.

I was inspired to make my friend a power object, so firstly did his Four Pillars astrology chart to get a map of his personal energy. Initially, his birth time was unknown, so I went with the 3 pillars I could see. The key point that stood out, was he was a Yin Water Rabbit, born in January, which means his water (that feeds the wood of the Rabbit DayMaster) – i.e. his source of creativity, is in the burial stage.

This is actually auspicious – as the burial stage translates to stored energy. But he had explained to me previously that he often gets his creative inspiration when coming out of depression. So my guidance was to create another way for him to access his buried treasure (creativity) by more actively digging for the treasure. Possibly avoiding the need for depression at all, or lessening it’s hold on his creativity.

Later I found out his birth time, and it was inside the hour of the Rat. The Rat punishes the Rabbit in Chinese astrology, and funnily enough, both of these items turned up as freshly dead ‘presents’ for me within a day of finding the terracotta pot.

The Finished Piece

The art piece depicts a Yin Water Rabbit, diving down the rabbit hole, with a spade. Inside the pot, at the bottom is a rabbit skull (he works with bones a lot and so dead things are a common source of inspiration to him). The bottom is also decorated with pirate gold coins, lit up with fairy lights. I was going to use normal golden chocolate coins but found these instead – which provided the perfect treasure twist.

Pirate Gold

Pirate Gold is referred to in the Urban dictionary as ‘The act of taking random shit and spray painting it gold’, preferably something you've stolen from a friend or junkyard. Often it is buried after being painted.

Add to this that Pirates don’t often bury treasure – and treasure to a pirate is not usually gold. So I interpreted pirate treasure – as the most precious thing any individual values above all else. For some people it might be money, others time, others … fill in the blank.

The front of the pot depicts the bone man on the left meeting me, now metamorphosised into the Bone Mother. As a final touch – my friend who introduced us, added a couple of final dried flowers – and helped me make a plinth for it to stand on, to connect our 3 energies together.

A Side Piece

Whilst working on the picture, I also started working on a second picture of the bone Mother meeting the rabbit. Unconsciously I used orchid petals in the picture, as her eyes.

It is as yet unfinished; however, I took it to a retreat recently. This was a place that my friend The Bone Man had introduced me to, and the place where I finally chose my new name.

The picture unbeknown to me, contained a fabric print (to me just a face that I had cut off an old shirt) of the famous artist Frida Kahlo. This was one of the final clues, when deciding on my new name (a long overdue change needed to cut final ties to my old married name).

Squaring the Circle

So, coming full circle, the meeting of the Bone Man, he led me to working with the Bone Mother, who helped me start a journey of rebirth. It culminated in a weeklong stay in an artistic community, where I had my name change final consultation – and completed my transformation. What an adventure it was going down that rabbit hole.

I reflected on it all whilst there, and realised, he was a major catalyst in doing an Alice in Wonderland style deep-dive to find my pirate treasure.

I found myself.